Holidays with Tobi
by xDarkTempest
Summary: The Akatsuki, an evil organization, is known and feared for what they do. But the newest member Tobi sets out to make the holidays fun for everyone. Tobi's innocent clumsiness and cluelessness ends up making everything a disaster.
1. Valentine's Disaster

**Hi guys, my first fanfiction. This is probably the worst holiday ever so I appologize for the suckish writing.**

**The next chapters will revolve around Tobi celebrating one holiday with the Akatsuki.**

**Halloween**

**Thanksgiving**

**Christmas**

**Oh yeah, Black Zetsu is in bold, and **White Zetsu is not.

**And I do know who the "real" Tobi is. If you've been catching up with anime and manga you should have already known for a while.**

**This is purely for entertainment purposes when everyone thought Tobi was Tobi.**

**I appreciate constructive critism, and I'd love to hear how I can improve. That way, I can be a better writer. I appreciate no flames, but if you insist...**

**This weeks chapter is**,

Valentine's Disaster

_When Tobi decides to celebrate Valentine's Day with the evil members of the Akatsuki, what disasters will this cause? And what's this? Presents? Read on to find out how the fearful ninja of Akatsuki get embarrassed by an innocent boy only trying to help.__**Holiday's With Tobi**_

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The Akatsuki…

The organization full of bloodthirsty creatures that showed no mercy.

The name that struck fear into the cold-blooded hearts of grown men.

That's exactly how the leader wanted to keep it.

And that's how he intended it to be forever.

With fear comes peace, he would say.

Until… Yes, until the newest member came. His name was… Tobi.

Pain was satisfied with his current situation.

He was sipping on a pina colada, and writing a blackmail message to the village of the sand.

Everyone was on rest from missions, which made the place a lot louder.

Then again, Hidan was away due to some ritual for his _Jasin-sama_.

Regardless, everyone else managed to still get into stupid arguments over who gets the TV remote.

Pain shook his head as he remembered yesterdays show.

It was Tobi's turn to pick, and of course they had to watch _Barney You and Me_ and _Teletubbies_

But that didn't apply to the leader.

Anyone who makes a sound in his office…

Well… he kills them…slowly.

"SEMPAI!" a loud shout could be heard from Pain's office.

His pens fell to the floor, and he tightened his fist in anger.

Pain was about to leave the room to teach that kid some lessons when the door burst open.

"LEADER-SAMA! SEMPAI TRY TO KILL TOBI. TOBI DON'T UNDERSTAND. TOBI A GOOD BOY! TOBI A GOOD BOY!" the swirly-masked member hid behind Pain's back.

A blonde ninja suddenly burst in the room.

"Where is that idiot! I swear I'm going to kill him, un!"

Deidara looked at the leader, and immediately bowed.

"My apologies Leader-sama, but Tobi has really done it this time, un!"

Pain frowned. "Tobi. Don't touch me…ever again."

Tobi apologized and looked down at the floor in shame.

"Sorry Leader-sama… Sorry Sempai! Tobi try to be nice! Tobi is a good boy!"

He looked ready to cry.

"Deidara what happened?" Pain asked.

"I went to my clay workshop today, feeling a bit happy because TOBI HADN"T WOKEN ME UP LIKE USUAL!" the blonde shouted.

Tobi whimpered, and hid behind Pain again.

"Anyways, I went into my workshop, and what did I see? Tobi was messing with my explosive clay! I told him to get the heck out, and put it down, but no… Tobi insisted on making a model. IT ENDED UP ACTUALLY EXPLODING! EVERYTHING IN THE WORKSHOP BROKE! MY LIFES WORK!"

Deidara was practically screaming now.

Tears began to stream out of the hole in Tobi's mask.

"Not Tobi's fault!" he whined.

"T-t-tobi was trying to make Sempai and others presents for Valentine's day!"

A puddle of tears had formed around the three members.

"Valentine's Day…" Pain repeated.

"Listen up Tobi! We are the Akatsuki. We kill the innocent. We burn villages. But…we don't celebrate Valentine's Day!" The leader stared at Tobi for a long time.

There was absolute silence in the room for a couple minutes.

"B-but w-why?" Tobi insisted on asking.

"Because Tobi…" Pain's knuckles were white from clenching them to hard.

"Because Valentine's D-"

Then the door burst open again.

"WHAT NOW?" Pain roared.

Kisame stood at the door, and stared around.

"Sorry Leader-sama, but I was just wondering…" the shark man said.

"Yes?" Pain asked, his patience being tested.

This whole time Deidara was glaring at Tobi, and looked ready to strangle him.

Kisame responded, "Um… Well… Why the heck are the table and chairs, and all the furniture either pink or red?"

"WHAT?"

Pain immediately ran to the Akatsuki's lounge, followed by the other three members.

He just stood there, shocked at what he saw.

A vein throbbed on Pain's neck.

The normal lounge had three sections. An entertainment area, a kitchen, and a living room.

This included a black couch with two blood-red armchairs, dark brown seats with a table, and a television.

There was also Foos-ball and a ping-pong table, which had to be fixed multiple times…

The total cost to make renovations to the original lounge was over 20 million yen!

Kakuzu had been mad about it for over half a year!

But Tobi… He had changed everything!

Pain looked around again to make sure this wasn't his imagination..

The walls were painted a bright pink, and had hearts scattered everywhere around.

That wasn't all.

Tobi had painted every single place he could reach either pink or red.

He was a ninja, so in this case, it was _everywhere_!

Everything! All the money that had used… gone down the drain. Not only that!

They would have to pay a lot more to get the lounge back to it's original shape!

"Tobi! EXPLAIN THIS!" the leader demanded.

By now, the swirly-masked boy was happy, and he laughed.

"Don't be silly Leader-sama! This is preparations for Valentine's Day! You see, when everyone is asleep, Tobi go buy paint and glue. Then Tobi paint everything red and pink for the next day. Tobi is a good boy!"

Everyone flinched at this.

"Then why the glue?" Kisame asked after a while.

Deidara gasped, and pointed at a figure sitting on the couch.

It was Itachi.

He seemed to be stuck in place.

And he was not happy.

Pain screamed, and went back in his office to get some aspirin.

"Oh that's easy! Tobi didn't think he had enough paint when Tobi left the store. So Tobi buy some super glue that is red!"

"Why didn't you just buy more paint, un!" Deidara asked angrily.

"Oh… Tobi didn't think!" Tobi laughed.

Itachi frowned, and everyone knew it was hard for him to resist killing Tobi.

"FIRST OFF!" Everyone was startled by the Uchiha's sudden shout.

"THE NEAREST STORE IS OVER 100 MILES AWAY! HOW COULD YOU GET THERE IN ONE NIGHT?"

Tobi put his hands on his hips triumphantly and said, "Aren't you proud Itachi-san? Tobi is very smart. So Tobi use Deidara's big birdies to get to the store!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" the blonde exploded in anger.

"Oh… but one of the birdies blew up! Sorry sempai…" Tobi said.

Deidarya was about to punch Tobi, when Kakuzu walked in the room screaming bloody murder.

"TOBI? HOW MUCH DID THIS ALL COST?" Kakuzu asked.

"Um… let Tobi think. Tobi repaid the store manager for everything Tobi broke in the shop… And Deidara's bird exploded, so Tobi had to pay for everything in the store. 500 million yen! Tobi paid him because Tobi is a good boy!" the swirly-masked ninja said proudly.

"WHERE DID YOU GET ALL THAT MONEY?" Kakuzu stormed.

"Tobi get it from Kakuzu-san's wallet because Tobi knows that Kakuzu has an infinite amount of gold. Because Kakuzu-san is a leprechaun! And Tobi is a good boy!" Tobi clapped his hands.

Kakuzu screamed in anger.

Kisame actually smirked.

"Well none of this affects me so… I guess I'll be leaving then."

"Actually Kisame-san?" Tobi said.

The shark man's eyes were wide open in fear at what Tobi could have done.

"Tobi brought you some fresh sushi!"

Everyone stared at Tobi.

One by one, they took out their weapons.

A kunai, Samehada, exploding clay, and a pair of deadly fists were pointed at the lollipop faced member.

"Sempai, Itachi-san, Kakuzu-san, Kisame-san! Tobi has Valentine presents for everyone!" Tobi was jumping up in down in excitement by now.

He pulled out four individual boxes wrapped in fabric painted a rich red and light pink.

The members stared at him as if he was out of his mind.

Deidara was the first to respond. "How 'bout we grab the presents, then beat the living crap out of him, un?"

The others nodded in agreement, with the exception of Itachi (who just said Hn..) and just when Tobi was about to hand them out, someone interrupted.

"**What is this?" **a familiar voice asked.

The members turned to see the Akatsuki's cannibal with split personalities, Zetsu, the living plant…

"Zetsu-san! Tobi and others are celebrating Valentine's Day! You're just in time!"

Tobi grabbed Zetsu by the hand and led him to the others.

"That's nice Tobi," Zetsu said.

"**Touch my hand and I'll eat you!"**

Tobi flinched at this, but pretended nothing happened.

"Here are the presents! Sempai gets his first!" Tobi shouted.

"Hurry up with it dweebface, un. We have to kill someone. By someone I mean _you!_"

Deidara turned around to see who laughed at his joke.

Nobody did.

"All right then. What is it?"

Tobi was giggling in excitement and slowly unwrapped it.

"Tobi knows sempai likes clay, so Tobi gets Sempai Valentine's clay!"

The blonde looked at the present.

"Tobi! This is Play-Dough! Are you out of your mind, un!"

The others were snickering at the joke of a gift.

Even a smile pulled on Itachi's lips.

The funny thing wasn't about the Play-Dough.

Deidara hadn't noticed the clay was pink and red with a picture of Tobi's face!

Kisame was the first one to crack up laughing and he fell on the floor in hysterics.

"What's so funny, un?"

It was at that moment Deidara realized what happened, and screamed.

"You retard! Why did you bring me this clay, un! Get out of my sight!"

Tobi giggled again.

"Aww…Sempai likes the present!"

The others could only watch as the blonde began to shout with anything he could think of at Tobi.

Kisame stood up finally, and looked at Tobi.

"So what'd you get me?" Kisame asked a bit worried after Deidarya's incident.

The swirly-masked member took out the other present.

"This is one is for Kisame-san!"

Tobi slowly began unwrapping the gift, and revealed what seemed to be…

"Tadada! Disney's ultra underwater CD edition!" Tobi exclaimed.

Tobi was practically hopping up and down in happiness.

Kisame was speechless.

"Tobi's so excited! Kisame's too happy for words!" Tobi said.

This time, it was Deidara who was laughing his head off.

"The dimwit got you the freaking _The Little Mermaid _and _Finding Nemo_, un!"

Kakuzu was grinning and pointing his finger at the Shark man.

"_Keep on swimming, Keep on swimming, Keep on swimming_ Kisame!" Kakuzu shouted.

Everyone erupted in laughter, and Kisame's blue face turned red.

"Now he's a real Valentine's shark!" Deidarya announced.

Before anyone could laugh, Kisame snatched Kakuzu's gift from Tobi's hand, and thrust it at him.

"Your turn," Kisame snickered.

Kakuzu was still laughing, but now his face turned serious.

After carefully unwrapping the gift, Kakuzu frowned.

"Tobi, what is the meaning of this?" he demanded.

Tobi smiled and ran over to Kakuzu.

"This one made the most sense," the lollipop faced member said. "It's Valentine's, so Tobi got Kakuzu-san an actual heart!"

Everyone just stared at Tobi.

Nobody wanted to ask him where he got it.

They didn't need too, because Tobi told them.

"Tobi would not kill anybody of course. Tobi is a good boy! So Tobi finds the heart in a package out of Leader-Sama's door."

Not a single person in the room was laughing.

"T-tobi. That's Pain-Sama's vessel." Zetsu said.

"**He's really going to kill you. No worries, I'll eat the remains."**

Clueless as usual, Tobi laughed out loud and said, "You're so funny Zetsu-san! That won't happen because Tobi is a good boy!"

He handed Zetsu's present to him.

"Thank you Tobi," Zetsu said politely.

"**If there is anything wrong with this present, I'll eat you for real!"**

Zetsu tore through the carefully wrapped fabric, and gasped.

Tobi had bought him a cactus plant in the shape of a heart.

It was half black and half white.

Nobody knew what to say.

It seemed Zetsu was actually pleased by his present.

"Does Zetsu-san like it?" Tobi asked.

"It's amazing Tobi. Thank you," Zetsu said truthfully.

"**Not half bad."**

Tobi giggled again, and replied, "Glad you like it Zetsu-san!"

The good laughs were over now.

Because the last person to receive a present was Itachi Uchiha.

The man who had killed his entire clan without a second thought.

While they were thinking of ways to kill Tobi if Itachi didn't, they were thinking of ways to survive Itachi.

If Tobi's present was bad, then everyone was screwed.

There were several moments of silence in the room.

Tobi waited for Itachi to come up.

Tobi then slapped his head.

"Oh… I'm so silly. You're stuck there, that's why you can't come up! I mean you'd love to receive a present and all! Tobi is a good boy so he will bring it to you!"

Everyone held their breath as Tobi brought out the smallest box of all the gifts.

Itachi opened the present without even looking at it.

Everyone's eyes grew wide.

They were officially screwed.

Tobi had gotten Itachi contacts.

Not just any contacts.

These contacts were supposed to turn your eyes into hearts.

Now each of them were picturing Itachi's Mankegyou Sharingan with hearts.

This is an S-rank ninja we're talking about.

Itachi tightened his grip on the kunai.

Luckily, Tobi was saved by Pain who came running in the room.

"What is the meaning of this? Where is my vessel?" he demanded.

Nobody said anything.

Everyone's eyes were still wide open at Itachi's present.

Even the leader looked a bit frightened at Itachi's expression.

"_Tsukuyomi…Mankegy-"_ Itachi's began to change color.

Before he could activate it Tobi responded to Pain.

"Tobi took the vessel's heart as a present! I know you won't mind Leader-Sama!"

Everyone knew they were screwed now.

"Duck! Everyone duck, un!" Deidara screamed.

"TOBI!" Pain roared.

The wall exploded in black flames, throwing Tobi back 10 feet.

Even so, the swirly-masked ninja managed to regain composture.

"Happy Valentine's day!" Tobi shouted.

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**Do you like it? Well, thanks for reading. Reviews are appreciated. I try to reply to all of them! This story wasn't as funny as I was hoping it to be, but the next will be Halloween. They're planning on getting revenge on Tobi for the last Holiday, and are going to scare him. **

**Note: If you watch or read Katekyo Hitman Reborn!, then you might want to read my other story based around that anime called, "Giotto's Memories".**

**Thanks,**

**xDarkTempest**


	2. Halloween Hatred

**I'm glad you guys liked the other chapter. Thanks to "tekkenlover233" and "Ryuun Kazan" for being the first two to review. I appreciate the great comments. I won't disappoint with this chapter!**

**Remember Black Zetsu is in bold, while **White Zetsu is not.

**Also, this is a crackfic. Purely for entertainment purposes.**

**Anyways, read on!**

**This weeks chapter is,**

_Halloween Hatred_

_After what happened during Valentine's Day, Deidarya and the others have been trying to get back at Tobi. It's finally Halloween, and the others have an evil plan to scare poor Tobi._

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_**Holiday's with Tobi**_

Deidara smiled as he saw the members arranging themselves around the table he prepared.

"What the h*ll did you call us for Deidarya? And why are we having a meeting in your freaking room?" Hidan said.

The others nodded in agreement.

The blonde ninja smirked. "I think we all know why this year has been a disaster for us…"

Everyone around the room shuddered and said the forbidden word. "Tobi."

"Yes…Tobi." Deidara repeated. "This whole entire stinking year we have been embarrassed by that empty-minded idiot, un."

He paused and stared at each person in the room individually (except Itachi) for dramatic effect.

"Just get on with it girl," Kakuzu said.

Everyone cracked up, save for the Uchiha and Deidara, who's face turned a deep red.

"I am not a GIRL!" Deidara screamed.

"Sure," Kisame said snickering. "Then explain that!" he pointed to a bottle of make-up and Loreal, located on the blonde ninja's bedside table.

"Loreal…" Hidan said. "Cuz you're freaking worth it!"

Everyone laughed again.

"Give me that!" Deidara said, snatching the two items, his face as red as a tomato. "And we're not here because of my beauty, un, we're here to get revenge on-" the blonde ninja held up a flashlight and turned on the switch, making his face look slightly more frightening. "Tobi…"

Nobody flinched at this.

"How the heck are we supposed to do that? We've tried killing him. He's just too positive!" Kisame shouted.

"I've tried burning his intestines open with Sharingan, and feeding them to him…A failure," Itachi said emotionlessly.

Everybody flinched.

"No we're not going to kill him…" Deidara said, breaking the silence. "Leader-sama would kill us, despite how he hates that swirly masked idiot, un! And also, Zetsu's pretty fond of the guy. Why do you think he's not here at the meeting?"

Itachi just said Hn, while everyone else nodded.

"Listen up, un!" Deidara barked. "Tobi's not here because I told him to run out and buy some stuff for us. Before you ask why, un… let me tell you. We can't kill the useless Tobi. We can't insult him. We can't even make him flinch. So what we're going to do is…" the blonde ninja paused again for dramatic effect.

"Get the freaking h*ll on with it you girly piece of crap!" Hidan screamed.

"Fine, un!" the blonde ninja responded. "But listen, what we're going to do is scare Tobi."

He waited for everyone to clap at his idea.

Nobody did.

"Scare him?" Kisame asked, pulling out Samehada.

"No…No not like that. I already said we're not killing him, un! Like that's going to work?"

"Not killing," Kakuzu said. "Just a little fright is all." he proceeded to pull out his steel knuckles he recently fashioned.

"LISTEN!" Deidara screamed. "We will build a haunted mansion. I sent Tobi out to buy stuff for our mansion, un!"

Kakuzu clenched his fist in anger.

"Calm down cheapskate. Once this is over, Tobi won't be able to use our money again!" the blonde explained.

Kakuzu continued clenching his fist.

"Er…your money I mean. But listen, un. Each one of us will make an incredibly frightening task for the idiot to complete, un. Before he's finished, the little boy will run home screaming for his mommy and will never come back to the Akatsuki."

This time everyone looked at each other and nodded.

"Not a bad idea," Itachi said, suprising the others. "As long as I can be the devil…"

Nobody rejected the statement.

"OK then, it's settled. You dooches go get prepared for tomorr-." before Hidan could finish his sentence, the lights went out.

There was high-pitched scream that lasted for over 15 seconds before the lights turned on again.

"Jeez, who the heck was that?" Kisame asked.

Everyone pointed at Deidara. Once again, his face was a deep scarlet color, and he denied it. "Not me…"

The shark man burst out laughing. "I did that on purpose. You guys didn't think I knew Deidarya was a scaredy cat?"

Everybody cracked up again.

"Hey guys help me with the cleaning up, un!" Deidara insisted, trying to change the subject.

"No can do," Hidan yawned, exiting the room. The others proceeded in this fashion, leaving Deidara to tidy up himself.

It was an hour later before the blonde ninja finished.

After he changed into his Akatsuki pajamas, Deidara climbed into his bed, and put on his eyewear. "I need my beauty sleep," he mumbled.

Just as Deidarya was about to fall asleep, a loud knock could be heard on the door.

Before he could say, "come in," the door burst open, revealing Tobi and a giant bag of items.

"I-I-I-I'mmmmm Baaaaccckkkk!" Tobi sang.

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The following morning, the five members trying to scare Tobi arrived in the Akatsuki hideout's front yard.

It could be considered a front yard, if you mean giant rocks, sand rats, and cliffs.

Deidarya was carrying the giant package of groceries, groaning at the weight.

"Dang you guys! A little help, un!" the blonde ninja shouted.

The others just stared at him and went back to whatever they were doing before.

Sighing, Deidara put the bag down and pulled out various items he had assigned Tobi to get for him.

"Fake Blood, check. Lanterns, check. Bedsheets, check. Smoke machine, light machine, check."

The blonde ninja repeated at least 10 dozen more items in this fashion, checking them off on the list he wrote.

He was surprised. Very surprised.

The swirly-masked member had gotten everything the blonde has asked for.

All of a sudden, a voice could be heard from behind the blonde ninja.

"**What do you think you're doing?"**

Crap. It was Zetsu.

Deidarya turned around and tried to avoid eye contact.

"Um… well… The five of us are preparing a little surprise for our newest member, un!" he said unconvincingly.

"Why are you trying to hurt Tobi?" Zetsu asked.

"**I thought he was a dimwit, but he makes this place a bit happier…"**

Deidara sighed again, and was about to turn around when the others came walking over.

"Listen Zetsu, we appreciate your concern, but us messing with Tobi has nothing to do with you." Kakuzu said sternly.

"So…why don't you just go run along and play with your little daffodils and roses," Kisame added.

Everybody stood there in complete silence, until Zetsu frowned.

"If that's what it's going to come to, I can't do anything to stop you people," the plant ninja responded.

He walked off, talking with himself about the cruelty these people did.

Well, that was an understatement.

This was the Akatsuki.

"Thanks you guys. Let's show that idiot what fear is, un!" the blonde ninja said smiling.

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The rest of the day was spent arranging items, blocks, bricks, and more accessories and backdrops into one giant mansion.

The five members had used black tarps and giant wooden poles to create the main theme.

Inside, were individual rooms made by each member, preferring to their own style and taste.

After all the work was done, Deidara wiped the sweat off his forehead, and looked at his creation.

It was amazing. The mansion they had created was as big as the Akatsuki hideout, and even taller in size.

"Tobi's out helping Zetsu with his freaking piece of a crap garden," Hidan declared.

"Get him then zombie boy!" Kisame said, rubbing his hands together in excitement.

Just as the two were about to argue, Kakuzu cut in.

"Both of you. Shut the frick up. I'll go get him." the masked member walked into the hideout.

"Everybody ready to make Tobi suffer from torture and hatred?" Itachi asked emotionlessly.

"Yeah," Hidan replied.

The Akatsuki members were really ready for the show.

Hidan had changed into his skeleton form using charka.

Kisame was wearing a hockey mask, armed with a chainsaw in hand.

Itachi's was suprising. The Uchiha had dressed up in a devil costume, poured on fake blood (maybe real blood too), and glued livers to his costume (once again, may be real).

But the hilarious part was Deidara.

After insisting on being an evil clown, the others immediately decided the blonde ninja should dress up as a girl.

Should he not…then the other 4 members would quit the idea of the haunted mansion, and have Tobi bug Deidarya for the rest of his life.

So it was pretty sad.

The blonde ninja had on a red and black dress with pumpkin styled high heels. For accessories (Because every girl needs those, Kisame said), a pearl necklace and earrings.

Deidara had ended up crying about it, and whining like crazy.

The others finally convinced him to do it. But it seemed more like blackmail than convincing.

Everybody talked about how they were going to scare the h*ll out of Tobi with their ideas.

Just as Hidan and Kisame were about to get into another argument, Kakuzu arrived, Tobi at his side.

"Oooh….What's this Kakuzu-san? Tobi wants to go in! Tobi wants to go in!" the swirly member said in excitement.

"Oh you'll go in all right, un." Deidara announced.

"Tobi. Listen. We're going to play a little game. The game is to survive each of our tasks we have created. Now…you may enter." Kakuzu said.

Clapping his hands together, Tobi entered the haunted mansion, giggling in happiness.

The others had gone through a back door.

Zetsu stood watching in the distance.

"I hope Tobi doesn't get killed."

"**He's pretty much screwed this time."**

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The lollipop masked member entered the first room.

Around him were flames, shooting out of a hole.

The ground had cracks, and Tobi was almost incinerated by the fire sizzling out.

"Who's room is this?" Tobi wondered innocently.

A figure approached the boy, and grabbed him by the collar.

The swirly-masked member whimpered in fear, but remembered to not scream.

"I am the devil, and you are in h*ll," Itachi said fiercely.

"The task is for you to escape. Around you, will be pillars of fire, and also a dragon. You must get to the other side of the room before everything burns up from the heat. That will be in 30 seconds. Your time starts now…"

Tobi looked around, but Itachi had disappeared.

He was also beginning to feel a bit hotter.

"26..." a voice called out.

"25..."

The lollipop faced ninja began panicking and looked in front of him.

A maze of bricks were arranged in piles, and they were almost swallowed up by the flames.

"Tobi is a good boy! So Tobi will pass the test. Because Tobi is a good boooooooooooooy!" the ninja made a run for it, closing his eyes and just randomly stepping where he could.

"15..."

"14..."

Surprisingly, the masked member's method worked, except with the occasional burn on his cloak.

Itachi smirked.

The idiot had gotten through the first part, but he'd never make it through the second.

Sadly, the others wouldn't be able to laugh at this. They were busy waiting for the ninja to proceed, except that he wouldn't.

After all, this was Itachi.

All of a sudden, a dragon jumped out of the lava and roared.

Tobi jumped back three feet and almost fell in.

Swinging his arms like a madman, he managed to regain balance.

Instead of screaming though, the ninja smiled at the dragon.

"Tobi is a good boy. Dragon is a good dragon. Please let Tobi pass so Tobi can pass other tests. Please Dragon. For Tobi."

Itachi merely laughed at this excuse of a talent.

This was never going to work.

However, the dragon suddenly moved over, and sat down on the rock Tobi was standing on.

The swirly-masked member patted it's head, and giggled. "Dragon is a good dragon!"

The evil creature closed it's eyes, and breathed out a puff of smoke in content.

The Uchiha could only open his eyes in wide amazement, and anger.

This was supposed to be his trump card. How could he fail?

Regardless, Tobi jumped up the remaining few steps of the room, and swung open the door.

"Thank you! Tobi is happy, because dragon can be good dragon!"

The swirly-masked ninja swung the door closed, and wandered off into the next room.

Hidan was really going to make the idiot scream.

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This room was a lot creepier than the other room.

Torn curtains and a broken piano made the place look even emptier.

A chandelier swung on the ceiling, its dim light revealing a small table in the center of the room.

On the table, was a box.

The words, "OPEN IF YOU DARE!" were written on the box's front in blood.

Tobi shuddered, and walked up to the table.

A cool gust of wind made the hairs on his neck stand up.

The boy's hands shivered, as he moved them over the box in fear.

All of a sudden, the box opened, revealing Hidan's deceased skeleton head.

Tobi placed his hand over his mouth, and screamed.

He screamed like a girl, running around in the room, flailing his arms about.

Hidan was getting annoyed at this idiot so he decided to say something.

"I am the ghost of a dead man. You have entered my lair. Prepare to die."

The lollipop ninja stopped, and walked up to the box.

"Ohh! This is Hidan's head. Someone must have hurt him, so he is mad. Tobi will help Hidan because Tobi is a good boy!"

"No you idiot!" Hidan shouted.

"Shhh…It's not healthy to scream without a body Hidan-san. Tobi will help you!"

The masked-member tore off one of the curtains, and put Hidan's head on it.

He then proceeded to wrap it around more and more curtains.

"Wat are you effing doin you dum lit…" Hidan's voice was drowned out by the sheer amount of curtains Tobi had wrapped around his head.

The skeleton man proceeded to cuss in a sentence repeatedly, but the masked man couldn't hear him.

Don't worry Hidan-san. Tobi will help save you." Tobi placed Hidan's head on top of the piano, and opened the top.

The lollipop faced ninja proceeded to stick Hidan's head in the piano.

"WRWEATRAGTRAGRWGAGW!" the skeleton man screamed.

"Sorry…Can't hear you!"

Tobi left the room, humming a tune and skipping up to the door before opening it.

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"Come in…" a raspy voice said, just as Tobi entered the next room.

"OK!" the boy responded.

Deep purple curtains lined the room, and a crystal ball on a table were arranged in a neat fashion.

"I will tell you your fortune…But I will warn you! Those who have seen the cards of the future, never live to see again! Also, it costs 3000 yen, so hand it over." This was obviously Kakuzu.

The swirly-masked member fished in his pocket and pulled out the money.

Smiling, he handed it over to the masked man.

Kakuzu snatched it, and pulled open a book.

Inside, were dozens of cards with numbers and symbols written on the front.

"Excuse me fortune sir? What does-" Tobi read the title of the book. "What does 'Makeout Paradise' mean?"

Kakuzu frowned, and looked at the cover.

Crap.

He thought he had picked the dictionary of evil.

"Unimportant," the man grumbled.

Kakuzu then proceeded to move his hand over the book, wiggling his fingers simultaneously.

"I SEE! I SEE AN EVIL COME UPON YOU! A SPIRIT HAS LAYED EGGS IN YOUR BRAIN! YOU WILL DIE OF EVIL!" he shouted loudly.

Tobi's lip began to quiver, and he began to cry.

Tears began to fill up the room, and he gave Kakuzu a big bear hug.

"B-but Tobi doesn't w-want to die! T-tobi is a good boy!" the lollipop faced member whined.

Kakuzu was getting really irritated at this, also he felt his bones begin to break.

"Get the h*ll of me you retard!" the money man demanded.

All of a sudden, Kakuzu felt something wet.

"Oh my freaking crap on a sandwich!" he screamed.

Kakuzu was entirely wet.

But that wasn't the problem.

The problem was that his wallet was in his pocket.

500,000,000 yen… Wet…

Just as he was about to faint, Tobi stopped crying.

"Sir fortune man? Are you all right? Is Tobi a good boy?"

There was absolute silence in the room for several minutes, until Tobi smiled.

"I take that as a yes. Tobi is a good boy. Because Tobi is a good boy, he passed the test! Yay!"

The swirly-masked member ran out of the room proudly, his hands in the air.

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The next test was so sudden Tobi didn't have a chance to catch a breath.

He was in a forest.

A pathway of dirt and stones were made up for him.

The door was at the end of the path.

It seemed so simple…

What Tobi did not expect was for a hockey-masked man to jump behind him, chainsaw on and above his head.

As the lollipop faced member ran for his life, so did the chainsaw freak.

Screaming his head off, Tobi ran with all his might, arms swinging at his side.

Just as he about to reach the end, a river full of water crashed into his side…

The result…Tobi getting flown 10 feet into the air, not realizing what happened.

Kisame roared with laughter, and jumped in the air.

Just as he about to deal the finishing strike, the lollipop faced boy remembered something.

"_Tobi…if anybody tries to assault you or in any way physically harm you, or pull down your pants…run, and use this!" Tobi's mother said._

_The young boy could only nod his head energetically and clap his hands._

Remembering what his mother said, Tobi pulled out a can of pepper spray from his cloak and pulled down on the switch.

"TOOOOBI IS AAAA GOOOOD BOOOOOY!" he shouted.

Kisame's eyes began to burn up, and he hit the ground in pain.

The shark man screamed in pain and his eyes began to water.

Tobi stood over him triumphantly, and then frowned.

"Um… the water makes Tobi… I-I.. T-tobi…Tobi needs to go PP!" he shouted.

All of a sudden, an idea burst into the boy's head.

Tobi then began to pee on Kisame's head.

"Oh my freaking God! What the heck is this!" the shark man demanded.

Tobi smiled, and pulled up his cloak.

"That serves you right because you try to hurt a good boy. And Tobi is the good boy!" the lollipop faced member said proudly.

He then continued to walk out of the room, ignoring Kisame's screams of agony.

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Deidara frowned as Tobi walked into the next room.

_How did he make it this far?_

Tobi looked around, and saw a plain room with black walls filled and red clouds.

It was at that moment he noticed his partner dressed up as a girl.

"SEMPAI! I MADE IT THROUGH ALL THE OTHER ROUNDS! SEMPAI! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! BUT SEMPAI! WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE A GIRL?"

The blonde ninja clenched his fist and then smiled.

Tobi would not be able to pass this round.

He would be sure of it.

"I am not your Sempai. I am an evil spirit, entering the body of the person named Deidarya. And I am here to kill you!"

Deidara pulled out a dozen clay bombs he fashioned, and threw them on the floor.

Tobi ran around the room screaming, his hands above his head.

"Katsu!" an explosion hit nearly half the room, sending Tobi flying and hitting the wall.

The explosive ninja smiled again, and muttered under his breath, "Itachi, an illusion would be useful, un."

"Rubber ducky ate my mommy," Tobi said, still dizzy after the incident.

It was at that moment that the room changed into a different background.

The red clouds and black wallpaper changed into a dark street at night.

Lamplights lit up part of the sidewalk, and people walked about, getting drunk off beer.

The image Tobi saw was Deidara getting mugged by a couple of hobos.

He ran screaming towards the blonde ninja, putting his hand into the blonde ninja's pockets and pulling out 2 of Deidara's special bombs.

"SEMPAI! TOBI NEEDS TO USE THESE TO KILL THOSE PEOPLE! SEMPAI!"

"Holy crap! Tobi those have the explosive power of c4! THROW IT ON THE GROUND NOW!" the blonde ninja ordered.

"NO! SEMPAI! TOBI MUST SAVE SEMPAI! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!"

All of a sudden there was a flash of bright light, and everything exploded.

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Kakuzu, Hidan, Kisame, and Itachi stood over the two ninja.

"What the heck happened with your test?" the shark man asked.

"H-He…the b-bomb…" Deidara stuttered.

"It seemed that the power of the bomb you fashioned was so strong that it broke through my illusion. You guys were partially injured, but nothing too serious." Itachi said.

Tobi managed to stand up, and he looked at his sempai.

"SEMPAI! TOBI SEES SEMPAI HAVE GIRLY PARTS! TOBI WON'T TOUCH, BECAUSE TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!" the lollipop man ran off singing and hopping into the Akatsuki hideout.

Hidan snickered.

The blonde ninja frowned, and glared at each one of them.

"You guys…ARE SO FREAKING DEAD!"

* * *

**I agree… The Kisame room was probably a bit too quick. Sorry about that, but I was really bored, and I couldn't wait for the Deidarya room. Thanks to "Ryuun Kazan" for encouraging me to write Deidarya in this chapter dressed up as a girl. This chapter was really hard to write, and I actually kind of hate it. If anybody wants me to change it, I'm open to ideas.**

**OC's, Plots, Themes, for Thanksgiving and Christmas are gladly accepted.**

**I apologize for the horrible grammar, hope you guys liked the story.**

**Next chapter is Thanksgiving, and it will revolve around Hidan a bit more.**

**Christmas is last. I don't have an idea for that yet. **

**Anyways, thanks for reading and reviewing! You guys are the best!**


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